With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, one could begin to feel pressured to spend a lot of money on a gift for one’s sweetheart. Jewelry. Flowers. Night on the town. They all can be quite expensive!
I grew up in a family who shows their love through the purchase of material items. It’s wonderful to receive so much and feel so special and loved, but this can become difficult when times get tough and money is tight. I certainly have felt like a complete failure because I couldn’t reciprocate with anything special. I don’t even mean expensive, lavish gifts… I mean just anything.
Such is the current reality for many, many, many people in our culture.
So this Valentine’s Day, show your love through your creativity, plus maybe a small <$30 purchased item on the side.
Here are some ideas:
BUDGET $0-$10
Scavenger Hunt. I *LOVE* these! Create a scavenger hunt where each find gives a clue to the next one. Spice it up with romantic or sexy couplets on each clue. You can even decorate the clues with red and pink markers or even make them on construction paper. Have something special waiting at the end of hunt, whether that’s you wrapped in a bow, a small gift, or a romantic meal! Have your sweetie find something with each clue: heart shaped cookie in a jar, CD with their favorite music, coupon book (see below), Valentine’s candy, flowers, etc. Presentation is everything. It can be as simple or as elaborate as you like!
Coupon Book.Make some love coupons for your sweetie to redeem at their desire! They can be sweet like “Free Pass – I’ll do the dishes tonight” to something hot and sexy! Cut up strips of paper (can even be reused blank side of junk mail) into approx 2″ x 5″ strips, decorate with markers, and staple together with a nice front and back cover (also designed by you). Or create some here.
Picnic! Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year, so it’s a perfect day for a romantic picnic! Too cold? Snow on the ground? Have a picnic on your living room floor in front of the fire. Be sure to indulge in decadent things like strawberries, fine cheeses, wine, and (of course) chocolate!
Romantic Texting (sexting?) If you have unlimited texting, plan out 14 special (loving or sexy) texts and send them periodically throughout the day. Create a special code, like 456838 (i love u) or SHMILY (See How Much I Love You), then you can use it periodically throughout the year, reminding your sweetie of your special Valentine’s Day together.
Special Meal. Decorate the table with a red table cloth and put (cheap!) tea lights all around it and perhaps even leading to the room. Set the table in a beautiful and special way and serve them their favorite dinner!
Dress Up! If your love likes a specific theme or time, dress up in something similar. For example, American History: wear a tri-corn hat (little pirate hats can be purchased at most dollar stores) and a corset or even homemade waist-cincher over a little petticoat or skirt. Knee high boots! And serve dinner (or just serve him) dressed like that!
Romantic Drive/Walk & Reminiscing. Agree not to talk about the kids or bills or work. Just experience each other and life around you! Listen to the sounds of nature or feel the wind on your skin. Hold hands. Talk about when you met, fell in love, had a special time, etc. Just be here now with your love.
Make a Sweetheart Box. Cover a box with hearts and stickers and ribbon, then place special, romantic mementos inside from your time together. This can be actual items from places you’ve been or just reminders of such places, love letters, cards, photos, etc.
Budget <$30
Add a small gift to one of the above things as a bonus.
Below are many gift ideas for under $30. Remember, spend $25 and get free shipping from Amazon! (Better get it today, though, as you only have a week!)
Gifts for HER on the left and HIM on the right!
Ethan and I got each other one thing last Christmas, and neither gift was over $15. We don’t have to spend $$ to show our love. It will be the same for Valentines’ Day, which, by the way, is the 10th anniversary of when he proposed!
Our time together is gift enough, and we get that.
Then I turned 40. An insignificant number, really. Roughly halfway through a healthy lifetime. Sure, I may die tomorrow (or today), but chances are I have at least another 40 years, maybe 50, in me.
Halfway there.
Sometimes I think – Do I really have to put up with this crap for another 40 years?!?!? Other times I’m excited about what the next four or five decades will hold for me. I’ve accomplished quite a lot in the first 40, most of that in the last 10-15 years, actually… so I could accomplish quite a bit more.
I’m a dreamer.
I set lofty goals.
I dream of Castle Houses. Traveling Europe. Not worrying about the bills. Knowing there is enough. Enough money. Time. Love. Energy. Just enough.
But I’ve recently come to a realization (with the help of Tolle & Dryer): the future will never come, not really. Because when it does come, it is now. It’s always now.
What’s the use of dreaming for a fancy Tudor “Castle” House when it may never come? In the mean time, our very modest home is falling apart around us from neglect. The lawn is dead. We never made any real improvements because it was always just a stepping stone for us.
But what if it’s not?
We can drive ourselves crazy with what-ifs…
What if the economy doesn’t recover?
What if Ethan is hurt on the job & can’t work anymore?
What if we’re stuck here for ten+ years?
What if we never “make it”?
What if our next book isn’t any good?
Ad nauseum…
The important point is not what might or might not happen. The important point is that I live here NOW.
So I decided that I would make this modest house a mini-Castle House.
I decided to honor the life I have. The space I have now.
We’re making the most of what we have by doing a whole-house face lift under $1,000, using mostly repurposed building materials, plus adding an art studio out back. We’re very lucky not to have to pay for labor, or it couldn’t be done for so very little (relatively), as Ethan is a licensed General Contractor. And I’m learning a thing or two myself!
So far, we’ve renovated our entire kitchen for $250 & given a nice face lift to the Living Area for just $80.
Although we’ve done a lot in the last month, there is still much to do! The bathrooms are next, then the exterior & landscaping.
Watch our progress in pictures.
I’m still a dreamer, but I’m finally beginning to mix those dreams with a healthy dose of NOW.
Part of keeping me present consists of cleaning daily, keeping up with chores, and making this a nice home for my family. I do this while listening to the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle on audiobook. Starting each day with Tolle really helps keep me present. He keeps me here, now.
Howard Zinn died from a heart attack yesterday. He was 87.
I had the great honor of meeting Howard Zinn in 2003 when I was in production with my first documentary Liberty Bound. Just until a few years before this, I’m ashamed to say, I really didn’t know who he was. I had recently gotten involved in politics (late 1999), and that’s when I first heard of this remarkable man.
I had taken the train from CA to MA to interview him, after contacting him via his old Boston University email. I was a little more than surprised he agreed to the interview. After all, he was a huge figure in leftist politics and a renowned historian and author, but that’s who Howard was: a kind, gentle man who did everything he could to promote knowledge of that which is little-known and to shine light on hidden injustice to the people of the USA and the world, even if it was through a idealistic, unknown, independent filmmaker like me.
I was quite nervous during the interview, at first, but Howard quickly put me at ease with his understated and humble presence. When he spoke, which was always softly with a literal twinkle in his eye, everything else stopped. Even when speaking about the most horrific events of human history, he did so calmly with insightful elegance.
After the interview, I found it difficult to edit out anything Zinn had said. It all was quite relevant and eloquently spoken. More than a few people have told me that my interview with Zinn was among the best they had seen. Unfortunately, very few people saw my film.
Zinn did. And he congratulated me on a job well done.
We stayed in touch over the years, and he helped me set up an interview or two for my second documentary Internationally Speaking. He even wrote a letter of recommendation for UT Grad School when I had briefly considered going back for my PhD.
I still have that letter. Unopened with his signature scrawled across the back.
It’s among my most cherished possessions.
If you haven’t yet done so, I think all citizens of the US (and the world) should read his masterpiece People’s History of the United States. As any thinker knows, history is written by the winners, and the point of writing is down is as much about documenting events as covering up (or downplaying) mistakes and embarrassments.
A People’s History of the United States is the exact opposite. This is history from the POV of the losers. The down-trodden. The persecuted.
It had me crying uncontrollably and utterly horrified by page 6.
Hard truths often have that result.
Howard Zinn dedicated his life to easing the suffering of others. He spoke for those who could not speak for themselves. He fought bravely in WWII. He protested injustice and refused to stay silent when Civil Rights were violated, and he encouraged others to do the same.
The world is more than just a little bit better because of this exceptional man’s life and work.
Today over at Book Addict, my monthly post has an interview with romance author Donna Grant.
Here is an excerpt:
Dangerous Highlander takes place in ancient Scotland, what kind of research did you do for your book?
I’ve been setting my books in Medieval Scotland since my first book, so once you do the major leg of research, I just have to go back every now and again to refresh myself or see if I can find some new facts that I might want to include.
Lucan MacLeod, judging from the cover, is one HOT Scotsman! Tell us more about this delicious creature!
Lucan *is* hot! lol. I thoroughly enjoyed writing Lucan. He’s strong and courageous, but he’s also hurting and lonely. It makes for a great combination when you have his brothers he needs to keep together and an attractive woman he can’t stay away from. Lucan will do anything for the people he loves, including sacrificing himself in necessary.
Many, many, many people I’ve spoken with over the past six months are in a dire economic situation. There was another time in fairly recent memory that this country suffered a similar repression, and it just so happened to be after the last 8-year Republican administration.
Hmmmm…. coincidence?
With republicans trying to keep affordable, reliable health care away from the 50+ million Americans who are uninsured, changing every effort to do so in a way to benefit insurance companies…
With hundreds of thousands of orphan and foster children living in less-than-standard conditions when there are, again, hundreds of thousands of same-sex couples willing and ready to adopt, giving these children a support system and a way out of poverty and abuse…
With the greatest civil rights issue of our time still unresolved, leaving thousands of same-sex couples without a legal union thus negating their right to be with their partners in sickness and death, among many, many, many other issues…
Perhaps we should keep this in mind:
This is an oldie but a goodie…
Day in the Life of Joe Republican
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance – now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his workday. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It’s noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”
Those of you who know me, know I adore all things Whedon. I revel in his storytelling. I watch and rewatch everything from Buffy to Serenity every year (sometimes twice), a whopping 12.5 years of television plus a feature film.
He’s a genius. Pure and simple.
A few days ago, I stumbled across sci-fi novelist’s D. B. Grady’s blog, and I found this gem among many:
(Excerpt of “Joss Whedon, Grrr. Argh”. Wherein D. B. Grady laments the career of Joss Whedon.)
You are a third-generation television writer. Your words have been nominated for an EmmyOscar. You conceived, wrote, directed and produced one of the definitive television series of our generation. (With an intimate involvement on every level, the likes of which not seen since Orson Welles walked the earth.) You did the same for its spinoff. You did the same for such a brilliant, though unsuccessful, series that fans would not rest until a feature film was produced. The film won a Nebula and a Hugo, and if you run in those circles, you know those are the only such awards that matter. You wrote a revitalizing line of comics for an intellectually moribund property that influenced the feature film. You wrote two groundbreaking musicals, one of which, at the very least, elevated the very concept of the video blog beyond that of some guy talking into his MacBook. and an
In other words: there is no medium in which you have not only contributed, but extended in some way.
You are a master of dialogue. You are to the screen what Roddy Doyle is to the novel.
You are an admired and accomplished feminist and Humanist.
You are Joss Whedon. You are somebody. You are not a hack. You have made a lot of people a lot of money. You build not only interesting worlds, but flourishing franchises.
Nobody ever said the words, “Things were great until Joss Whedon came onto the project.”
So…
Why, it seems, are you treated like some kid waiting tables in West Hollywood, shoving screenplays in Christian Slater’s face?
Brilliant book. I laughed. I cried, but I mostly laughed. Loud, barking laughter.
The book is about Pete Tarslaw, a lazy English graduate who just finds out his ex is getting married. In a twisted plot to show his ex up at her own wedding, Pete starts on a journey to become a famous novelist. Because, that’s easy to do once one knows the formula.
The writing in this book is superb. From the sugary, lyrical examples of Pete’s writing to the author’s narrative voice, it’s a pure pleasure to read from cover to cover.
HOW I BECAME A FAMOUS NOVELIST sucked me in from the first page, and I found myself reading it during every free moment.
The end of a grossly unprofitable and highly disappointing year. Good Riddance.
We are so far from the NYT bestseller list, that we’re not even on the same planet.
So much for lofty goals.
We couldn’t get media coverage to save our lives. Even with the GGC in tow.
We spent about 45% more on marketing than we earned in book sales.
We were threatened with foreclosure, weren’t sure how we were going to pay our bills, and had more than one emotional (and financial) set back on the personal front.
Still… on the bright side…
Overall, this year was a lot of fun! I got to spend nearly all of it with my entire little family: Ethan, the “girls,” and Shadow, the cat.
We drove from one end of the continent to the other in the Geekalicious Gypsy Caravan at least three times, traveling well over 6,000 miles on the book tour.
We met some incredible people. Saw this beautiful country. Visited family & friends. Got some super book reviews. Won two awards. Found some wonderful fans. Touched more than a few people with our books. Experienced joys and sorrows, both personal and professional.
We’ve sold nearly 4,000 books, no small feat for first time authors with an unknown independent publisher and no marketing budget. Especially considering that the average book released in the US sells 500 copies in it’s lifetime. This was just in the first year for Rowan of the Wood.
And now, we have the sequel out: Witch on the Water. Many fans have said they like it better than Rowan.I’d like to think we learned a thing or two about writing along the way, so that’s good news.
The bad news is… I’m exhausted. I hit my ceiling for tolerance and hope around November 1st, and I’ve been recovering every since.
For 2010… we have a new plan. We won’t be traveling as much (I don’t even want to mention the amount we spent in gasoline… and here I am an anti-oil/war environmentalist. It’s embarrassing), but we’ll still be doing some choice events.
We’ll be focusing on what works and trying out some new things, but I’m unlikely to be the marketing whirlwind I was last year. Unless amazing something tips that gives me a second wind. Like a movie deal (starring Kevin McKidd as Rowan!)
We’ll be sticking closer to home out of necessity and staying off the computer more. (Yeah! Like that will happen!– actually, I have been keeping away from social networking sites in comparison to the pre-October frenzy.)
Living more.
Writing more.
Reading more.
And…helping others more. Authors. Kids. Animals. Plants. Whoever needs helping.
Fewer videos. Fewer book signings. Fewer everything else.
Basically doing everything we did last year… minus the constant marketing.
I won’t be making anymore lofty goals, and I’ll focus on being grateful and happy with what we have, whether that is barely a roof over our heads or some best-seller list. Try to be here. Which, is extremely difficult for me, as I’m obsessively goal-oriented. I’ll be trying to more more toward the process, honing my craft, making art-love-beauty.
Just living.
Enjoying right now.
After all we’re rich in LOVE. Heath. Happiness. Friends & Family. A home. We’re quite fortunate, especially with as hard as this year was on many, many, many, many people.
I feel like I’ve lost the last two years of my life to constant marketing.
And it’s so not worth it.
Just plain burnt out.
Life is too short. Too fragile to spend it always reaching to the future.
Time to enjoy now.
Perhaps I’ll write a book on that.
Still… it’s been a great ride! See you on the road in 2010 — look for the GGC!
The new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law (directed by Guy Ritchie) is coming out on Christmas Day.
I’ll be there with jingle bells on.
Why? When so very many intellectuals, Doyle fans, and writers have condemned the movie because it’s “not true to the character” or “it’s not like the books” or other such complaints. My response is: so? When are movies *ever* like the books? At best a movie will either contain the essence or the storyline, but rarely to never both.
Stories are told differently on screen than they are on the page. Always. End of story. A movie is a different animal than a book. A movie in the 21st century is *really* different than a book from the 19th century.
Take the LORD OF THE RINGS movie trilogy as opposed to the books. My husband found those films mostly unwatchable. I loved them.
Take the HARRY POTTER movies. More than half the books are left out of the films. I still love them. Why? Because when I go see a movie, I *know* that it won’t be like the books. It’s a different way of telling the story about characters we love… and it’s for a different audience than those who read books.
We live in an extremely self-centered, illiterate, visually-based, Idle-watching-the-Idol society. Good or bad. Right or wrong. There it is.
So why am I, a writer and lover of literature, going to see this, what some call, blasphemous film?
Simple: I like movies. I really like period movies. I *LOVE* (I mean absolutely adore) Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law. I’m hoping that this film will usher in the Steampunk subgenre into mainstream (esp. since our publisher is releasing a Steampunk novel in a few months)… and I think it will generate an entire new generation of Sherlock Holmes fans. (Just as now Twilight fans are reading Wuthering Heights)
On top of that… I’m READING “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” for the first time in my life because this movie is coming out. I have a Master’s Degree in English Literature and am a college professor, and I have never read Doyle. Shameful? Definitely. There is so very much literature out there; it’s impossible to read it all. My graduate emphasis was in Medieval/Renaissance British Literature, so I have read very little before or after that. I’ve always loved Sherlock Holmes as a character, but I knew him by reputation only. I went to Baker Street and saw his office and residence when I was in London 20 years ago. I bought a Sherlock Holmes hat, too. I’ve said “Elementary, my dear Watson” countless times throughout my life.
But I never really knew the character. Now, because of this film, I’m starting to. I’m about halfway through “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes” on my new Kindle, and I’m loving it.
So thanks, Guy Ritchie, for bringing this beloved character into a new generation.
My co-author husband and I will be at the cinema on Christmas Day with jingle bells on, popcorn in one hand, and dark chocolate M&Ms in the other.
**SPOILERS HEREIN**
I snatched up this book the first time I saw it in a bookstore after reading “The Looking Glass Wars,” which I thoroughly enjoyed.
SEEING REDD begins in a relatively peaceful Wonderland. Alyss & Dodge are feeling out their relationship. Dodge is trying to balance his emotion between his intense drive for revenge and his socially improper love for Alyss. Hatter takes a break to mourn his lost love and discovers that Molly is his daughter (something that seemed pretty obvious to me from the time she was introduced). Arch from Boarderland is plotting against Wonderland throughout most of the book, that is until Redd returns. Redd is brought back out of the heart crystal by a painter in Paris … interesting, because he paints with very fuzzy lines, so she and The Cat are blurry throughout.
This one was a lot harder to get into.
There were many, many, many, many fight scenes that seemed superfluous to me, and I found my eyes glazing over them, eventually skipping ahead to more non-fight scenes.
I particularly liked the scenes with Alyss & Dodge and those with Hatter. Really *love* Hatter.
The biggest problem I had with the book was with what ease Redd navigated through her own maze … Alyss had a much more difficult time in her maze.
Overall, this was a very good book, and I still truly love Beddor’s writing style. I’m learning a lot (as a writer) from it.
I will still be reading ArchEnemy (on my new KINDLE!), the third book in the series, but with a little lower expectation.
Such is the current reality for many, many, many people in our culture.
Howard Zinn died from a heart attack yesterday. He was 87.
line of comics for an intellectually moribund property that influenced the feature film. You wrote two groundbreaking musicals, one of which, at the very least, elevated the very concept of the 
beyond that of some guy talking into his MacBook. and an
Overall, this year was a lot of fun! I got to spend nearly all of it with my entire little family: Ethan, the “girls,” and Shadow, the cat. 
We met some incredible people. Saw this beautiful country. Visited family & friends. Got some super book reviews. Won two awards. Found some wonderful fans. Touched more than a few people with our books. Experienced joys and sorrows, both personal and professional.
Especially considering that the average book released in the US sells 500 copies in it’s lifetime. This was just in the first year for Rowan of the Wood.
I’d like to think we learned a thing or two about writing along the way, so that’s good news.
(I don’t even want to mention the amount we spent in gasoline… and here I am an anti-oil/war environmentalist. It’s embarrassing), but we’ll still be doing some choice events.
Unless amazing something tips that gives me a second wind. Like a movie deal 
(starring Kevin McKidd as Rowan!)
pre-October frenzy.)
And…helping others more. Authors. Kids. Animals. Plants. Whoever needs helping.
I won’t be making anymore lofty goals, and I’ll focus on being grateful and happy with what we have, whether that is barely a roof over our heads or some best-seller list. Try to be here. Which, is extremely difficult for me, as I’m obsessively goal-oriented. I’ll be trying to more more toward the process, honing my craft, making art-love-beauty.
After all we’re rich in LOVE. Heath. Happiness. Friends & Family. A home. We’re quite fortunate, especially with as hard as this year was on many, many, many, many people.
Still… it’s been a great ride! See you on the road in 2010 — look for the GGC!
The new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law (directed by Guy Ritchie) is coming out on Christmas Day.
**SPOILERS HEREIN**
